Life for Now
The life passes so fast, but sometimes, so slowly. All the days is the same thing.
I’m really tired. So tired that I could really sleep for a month and nothing would change. Wake up. Suffering Code something. Sleep.
In the last two days, I have been watching an anime called Welcome to the NHK. It tells a story about a 22-year-old schizophrenic guy (my current age) with extreme social anxiety and his misadventures in life. Why does everything suck so hard? Because of societal rejection and his own depression, Satou (the main character) became a Hikikomori after his first period at Tokyo University. A Hikikomori is a person who lives isolated in their room and resists all efforts to leave their home. He has been living this way for the last three years.
The anime talks about themes like social isolation, hikikomori, otaku, depression, suicide, drugs, games, and programming (at some points). It’s a heavy mixture of reality, sadness and comedy. Actually, it’s a truly wonderful adventure, and the anime is generally very funny. However, if you have a life similar to Satou’s, it can be really painful sometimes. Or it can be your savior too. Anyway, Welcome to NHK is worth watching.
Afinities with Welcome to the NHK
But… In determined moment during the adventure of watching this… I really have it feel it that Satou, actually, is a mirror of myself.The similarities did keep since the first episode until the end. I really had a deep comprehension of Satou’s feelings. And this is really bad.
During the debugging of my jobs or my other painfull software activities, I have a deep feel to break all. Really this, with a hammer. But I cannot. I’m living yet because of my computer.
The biggest afinity was when Satou said that sequence of phrases:
- I don’t want to meet anyone
- I don’t want to answer my cell phone (mainly it)
- I don’t want to do anything
- I don’t even want to live
- But dying’s such a hassle.
Always when Satou had a psychotic break he blamed that is a conspiracy behind of your life fucking all.
So I'll say now: `IT'S ALL A CONSPIRACY!`.
The end
The biggest question whose comes to us sometime in a long sequence of conspiracy